Moved again and today I played in the snow

I moved to a place of snow and trees, pretty heavenly, if you ask me - considering I've spent the last 20 years in the dry desert!

I played and laughed today, that's something I have not done much of  as an adult. I highly recommend it!

Today it was snowing pretty hard, and I was not able to get out of the house. I was able to work from home a little, then decided to write this afternoon. Yes, I wrote!! I took a break from the screen to get the mail and ended up playing in the snow (even shoveling the driveway was fun) - when I returned to my writing, the words seemed to flow even more.

I mustered up enough bravery to send what I wrote today to a dear friend. That's a first! She liked it! That's encouraging.

I truly am "Getting Better God's Way!"

Onward and upward I keep my eyes on Him!
I'll keep praying and playing (and writing.)

Blessings,
Tammy

This cold hit me like a truck! Maybe it knocked me back on track?

I am back from a fantastic vacation. Ready to get back to my day job and break some records, start that serious exercise program I have on DVD, and outline my novel so I can finish writing a draft by the end of November.And those extra responsibilities I took on for my networking group, I am on top of it! Yes, that was me less than a week ago. 

What started out as sniffles and a little sore throat Saturday, has now turned into a pretty nasty cold. It is Wednesday, and I've finally given in to the fact that I am sick. I struggled through Monday, Tuesday and half of today before heading home. I can barely move. As I was making the decision on whether to take the rest of the day off, (highly recommended by the nurse at the VA,) I realized something. Although I have a full to-do list this week, nothing is more important than taking care of myself right now. Do I need to mention all the innocent bystanders I infected with my illness while I was trying to push through? 

I confess, I am a consistent worrier. My worries manifest because I work in commission only face to face sales. Now I have to set that worry aside, and get healthy. Yes, I have deadlines that I will miss. People will be let down. Yes, there are those in management that will probably be unhappy with my sales this week. I am trying hard to be OK with that. 

So here I am, home in bed with my laptop. I am not tired but determined to relax. I realize something very important. My blog, which started out about my spiritual journey to get closer to God, and to be a better person - has taken a detour. My bible reading and quiet time have diminished as well.

I'm pretty far from being thankful that I have this nasty sickness, but I am glad I have been forced to take time on this Wednesday afternoon to get in my comfy clothes, be quiet and think.

I also have time to read one of my favorite books, the Bible! Matthew 6:25-34 (look it up!) These verses are important to me. Today, these verses stand out more. 

I am on the road to recovery in many ways. I am resting and taking care of my physical body.  I am also getting better God's way by making time for my Heavenly Father, who comforts me in sickness and in health.

Will I be ready for work tomorrow? According to the nurse I spoke to earlier, the answer is no. I sure hope she is wrong. At this point, it is in God's hands. 

In the mean time, I am going to relax, take my medicine and work on that outline.

Blessings, 

Tammy

I'm back from vacation

And feeling rejuvenated, even refreshed after 7 exhausting days at theme parks in Orlando, walking every day - all day, I did not wear cosmetics or touch a hair dryer for 9 days. Sunscreen was my only extra while on this trip. I ate whenever and whatever I liked. Surprising enough, I chose healthy foods in most cases. I wore comfortable baggy clothing and a goofy hat.

My goal was to see all of the Disney Parks and both Universal Studios Parks, and more importantly, to take a vacation from worrying what people thought of me. Yes, negative thoughts and self doubt did creep in several times, especially when my husband took out the camera. I fought mightily with my self image - and won! How refreshing.

Physically, I am exhausted. Mentally - I am good to go. I recommend that every woman takes a break like this, even if it is a weekend stay-cation.  

As a side note, I intended to write while on this trip, and did not. I did do much plotting in my mind and have some new character inspiration from the strangers and new friends who surrounded me daily. A hug from this lady helped too!

Obstinacy – A Good Trait?

Bad things happen; this does not mean I need to have a bad day.

My day started off on the rough side. For the first day since I set my personal goals, I could not drag my backside out of bed at 5 am to write. Once I got moving, my hair dryer decided to quit. Side note, I have curly, actually frizzy hair – so this could be a very ugly predicament. I started brushing my teeth, and my handy battery powered toothbrush ran out of power. When I went outside, it was raining. My low tire indicator was on in my car. All of this before 6:30 am.

But you know what? I have decided to BE in a good mood. I have been accused of being obstinate. This is a day to put that character trait to use. I REFUSE to allow whatever was trying to sabotage my day have any success at all. I will have a good day.

I moussed up my hair and left it to dry. With the extra 15 minutes saved on drying, I read my devotional. I managed to actually brush my teeth without any mechanical assistance. Imagine that! The rain is beautiful. Living in the hot dry desert, we do not get many days like this. It was amazing, and I did not have to worry about it messing with my hair, right?!?

As I write, I am sitting in the waiting room getting the oil changed on my car. What a wonderful coincidence that I was already scheduled to be at the repair shop when the tire light came on. And I am writing. Right here, right now as I wait for my car. So I did meet my goal of writing every day. 

Overall, I’d say this Tuesday is shaping up to be pretty amazing!  

Stranger things have happened!

Yesterday I was extremely stressed, and time was not on my side. This week I took on additional responsibilities with a networking group, and the workload of this volunteer position are overwhelming and time consuming. This is partially because I am new to it - still learning and getting systems in place to keep me organized. I am trying hard to fulfill my new role while not letting my work suffer. Or my newly set personal goals.

I was meeting with a client in the morning, and I had a much looked forward to lunch date with a good friend, who I had not seen in over a month.

I knew I would be a few minutes late, and sent her a text. She, of course, was fine with it, and replied that she would get us a table and that I should take my time. I was still beyond stressed out. If you know me personally, you know that I am a stickler for timeliness.

While in my car, I flipped on the radio to my usual station. I heard static, then relaxing music - no vocals, played as I drove across town. Half way through my drive, there was static and Dani Johnson's voice came on, she was in the middle of a talk about stress.  Static again,and back to music. This may seem like a normal occurrence to some, but was not the norm for this station. Perfect timing! God's timing. A blessed reminder.

I arrived at the restaurant to a warm greeting and big hug from my friend, I was only 3 minutes past our regular time and I felt somewhat relaxed! We had a lovely lunch, catching up and just enjoying each other's company. Yes, I did have to leave an hour later to get to the next appointment, but I felt so much better.

I still feel better.

Somehow, in the busyness of life and work, I have put faith into a side compartment. A package to only open on Sunday.  How did this happen?  Can anyone else relate?

Why do I place more weight on work goals than I do personal ones?

Yep, I've set goals, great goals. Goals for diet, exercise, regular writing, and sales at work. And guess what? I've only ever kept up with the sales/work goals.

Why is this? The answer lies in the goal setting process itself.

Work goals - I write them down. I track them. I put all the steps down with dates for completion. I celebrate my mini successes along the way. I get cards in the mail, trophies and awards to line up on my shelf.

Personal goals are a little different for me. I wish and dream. I talk and blog. I have plans to do certain things. I never set the steps in motion. These goals get pushed to the side when work goals need to be achieved. When I get busy, my personal goals go down the commode.

It is time for change.

Its time for a big change. It's time to do more than just blog and talk about my writing goals with friends. IT IS TIME TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE! Yes, I am yelling - yelling at myself.

No more just talking about it, I am going to blog about my successes on my writing blog:
 
tammyarlene.blogspot.com

I will use this current blog - gettingbettergodsway.blogspot.com  for my rants and observations. Would love to stay and chat, but I've got to go - it's time to set personal goals. Really set them. Really reach them, and reward myself along the way. I'm thinking massages and pedicures are pretty good rewards.

Fire and Destruction - Weed, California

My hometown suffered a fire yesterday. Over 100 buildings, many of them homes, burned to the ground. When I graduated high school in 1989 I wanted to get as far away from that small town as I could. I joined the Marine Corps and did exactly that. Since my discharge from active duty, I have moved several times, never looking back. I returned to Weed a couple of times to visit my parents in the 90’s, then, in 2001, I moved them to Las Vegas to live with me. Since then, I have briskly passed through town twice while on road trips, never staying, and certainly never nostalgic.  I didn’t return for my class reunions, even though I went to same school with classmates for 12 years, (13 years - if we count kindergarten.)

Why, now that tragedy has struck, do I want to go back? I want to walk the streets and I want it to be just as I remember.  My old neighborhood, Carrick Addition, seems to have remained untouched. In looking at photos posted online, my heart breaks for so many who have lost so much. I feel drawn to "home," even though, until now, I never thought of it that way. I keep looking at photos and videos of the damage, and feel so helpless.

I no longer have family there, but I do remain loosely connected with a few friends via Facebook. Many of them have lost everything. Please join me in prayer. This is truly a tragedy.

 

I am out of words to say.

 

 

Just One Thing

What if, when life seems overwhelming, we just did one thing nice for someone else? Perhaps even a stranger...

The one thing I am talking about could be something as simple as picking up the piece of trash that someone left in the parking lot. Washing out a co-workers coffee mug, and putting it away for them. Moving a shopping cart from the parking area to the cart corral - or better yet, back to the front of the store. Even one up on that, helping someone who needs assistance to put the groceries into their car, then return the cart for them.

What about sending a "Thank You" card or note to someone who brightened your day? The written word, especially hand-written, goes a long way in touching someone's heart. With all the modern technology - Facebook, LinkedIn, Send out Cards, Email, etc., (all of which I love and use!), a hand written note goes a long way in expressing your gratitude in a very personal way that computer generated print can not. If you don't believe me, send one out. Test my theory and leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you.

These are all really small things that take little time away from a hectic schedule. I find when I do something completely unselfish, I am energized and feel good for hours afterward.

That's what is on my mind today. I must go - just thought of someone I could write a quick note to!

Managing My Time / Or Rather Managing ME Time ?

It seems that my personal life is all about starting over. Is this just happening to me? Can anyone else relate?

I am consistent with my personal inconsistency!  I start a new exercise program, daily bible reading, commit to weekly BLOGGING, and then life happens and it all fades away. I get caught in the whirlwind of life, and before I know it, I am starting over again.

In my career, I set goals and keep or exceed them. Not so on a personal level. Why?

A good friend and I were talking yesterday, and she said something that hit home. "You have to fill yourself up first - take the first 30 minutes of each day, and do something positive just for you." She heard this on a conference call the day before, and we both agreed that it was a good idea in theory. Flight attendants remind us to put our oxygen mask on first, before helping others. Our conversation was over, and I moved on to the next thing I had to do for my day. After all, it is the end of the quarter, and my sales numbers are not as good as they should be this week. 

Never mind that I, in the two weeks prior, exceeded my personal sales goals. But I digress...

  

Taking time for oneself has always sounded like a good idea for everyone else, but for me, it seems selfish. I am constantly concerned with the care of my mom, son and husband as well as success in a full time sales career. Reading and writing are things I desire and do just for me -which is exactly why they get brushed off my schedule as soon as something more important comes up. I have to be clear and mention that I, and no one else, make the choice to eliminate these items from my schedule.  Over time, I feel empty and drained. I once again get motivated to take time for me, and the feelings of being selfish return. I get back on the merry go round of caring for everyone else.

Normally I would have brushed past the conversation with my dear friend, and kept on with my hectic life. Not this time. I feel like I am stopped in my tracks. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I know this is a wake-up call like never before.  

My "ME" tank is running low. It may even be empty. I am not feeling as energetic as I used to. I struggle with the thought of adding another chore to my list, even if it is for me. Setting aside 30 minutes seems like a lot. A selfish lot. I ask to no one and everyone, "Is it even Godly to take time for myself?"

Enough of my rant. I am a results driven person when it comes to career and family. It is time for me to take charge of my personal results. And, yes, I am once again starting over. Starting over for me.

Please pray for me as I begin to take time for me at the beginning and end of each day. This time will include bible reading, writing, exercise and, yes - blogging. 

I will be blogging about my writing progress at:

tammyarlene.blogspot.com

This will, one day, become my author blog.

Bad Habit Part II: Judging Others

Eek! My internal radar went off, and I am sure my external expression showed it. There was a woman at WalMart, smiling and proudly wearing what appeared to be a 5” headband as a skirt and a short tank top that was obviously made to fit a toddler. I was at the store shopping with my 78 year old mother, and we were both mortified and couldn’t move far or fast enough across the store in our search for escape.  Yep, I even paused in the fresh fruit section to post a comment on Facebook!  I was disgusted.  As if that wasn’t enough, guess who sashayed into line behind me when I wheeled into checkout? You guessed it!  

I caught myself judging this woman, questioning her lack of public decency and modesty. I was thankful that my 17 year old son was not with me. My poor mother was emotionally scarred. The list could go on.

I am embarrassed to admit, I have several stories like this. Times when I have jumped toward the negative and grasped a judgmental attitude like it was my right to do so.

As I was driving home, I was struck by the thought that I should love others. I am not to judge anyone, just love them as they are. Not one of us is perfect. No, not one. I recounted what I saw to my husband. He reminded me that I should love others, not judge them.  I am very sorry for passing judgment on this stranger. I am nowhere near perfect, and although I strive to be a better person, I constantly find areas where I can improve. I have made my share of mistakes, and I never felt the dirty look of God on me. He loves me no matter what I do. No matter what bad habits I have. As I reach out to Him, He guides me toward the path I should go, loving me the whole time.

I am reminded of this story:

John 8:1-11 (NIV)

1but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus,
“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6They were using this question as a trap,in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

 

I am put in my place. I will work on softening my heart. I will work on not judging others, and loving everyone. This will not be easy, but I am convicted.

Bad Habit Part 1: Magnifying the negative

I don't know if I am alone in doing this, but I tend to magnify things that are negative, and overlook the positive in situations.

A recent real life example: My husband took a picture of me up close when a butterfly landed in my hair. I was thrilled that he caught this moment for me. I love butterflies! When I looked at the picture, I saw the wrinkles around my eyes. I even went so far as to enlarge the picture and gawk at how my crows feet had turned into deep cracks in my skin. I closed the image, then re-opened it to ruminate some more. I did this a few times, and spent way too much time lamenting on how horrible I looked. I then decided to delete the horrible picture of my ugly aging self. Thinking back, I never once looked at the butterfly. I didn't look closely at the beauty that was the purpose of the picture. I was so focused on not just myself, but my negative self image, that I missed the beauty of the moment. Now the picture is gone. In those few moments, holding my husband's cell phone, I even drudged up a memory of the cosmetic counter lady telling me how huge my pores were. Another memory surfaced when a dermatologist tried sell me botox and fillers. "You have the number 11 embedded between your brows," she hawked. When I magnified the picture further, looking for the negative, I found she was right! Shocking! EEEK! Run-don't walk-quickly, get needles full of drugs stuck in this face immediately, I thought. All of this negativity over a picture of a butterfly. What did that butterfly look like? I don't know.

My husband was confused, and didn't understand why I was so troubled over the photo. He was proud to present the picture to me. He sees me as beautiful, and does not focus on the wrinkles. God is the same way. He sees what is inside of us, not the outside. And, to top it off, when I focus on the negative - the inside of me isn't looking too good either.

How many positive opportunities have I missed, because of focusing on the negative? Countless, I am sure.

I am reminded in Proverbs 31:30 (NKJV)
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

What I am not saying here, is that it is wrong to want to look nice on the outside. What I have come to realize is, that I need to accept the things I can't change about my appearance (unless I am willing to get injections, that is.) I do want to look nice for my husband, for work, and for me. More importantly, I need to focus on my inward self more than I do my outward appearance. I am a woman that has aged 43 years.
New thought:  God, my husband, family and friends see me as a beautiful creation of God! That is the truth, and God loves me.

 My prayer today is that, now aware of this bad habit, I work on getting better God's way. Please message me privately or comment publicly if you would like to add something-or have been in a similar situation and can relate to working on turning this negative habit around.

Quiet time - Prayer and Time Invested in God's Word

This morning I was awake early and started reading in a devotional I received as a gift some time ago. I had never opened this book, even though it was given to me with a lovely note of encouragement written inside the front cover.  The book is from an insurance client I had in Las Vegas that I barely remember.The note is dated 7/3/2002 - twelve years ago!  The pages are so new and untouched that they stuck together. This book has moved with me countless times, yet I never opened it until now. It is called Seasons of Reflection, The NIV Bible in 365 Daily Readings with Special Helps on Prayer copyright 1994 by International Bible Study. This is the book I am talking about

This person went out of his way, many years ago to encourage me - with no way of knowing that his efforts would result in my encouragement on June 8, 2014. 

This verse is conveniently written on the first page:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

I am beginning a journey today to read the bible each and every morning first thing and write in my journal about how, changing this one thing in my life's list of priorities, is changing me from the inside out. This book stood out to me on my bookshelf, no longer forgotten. How many times have I forgotten to read His Word and spend time alone with God? 

I am a results driven person. I want to see the fruits of my labor right away. I have often given up quickly in important things just because I didn't see a result. That topic alone could be a post all to its own. 

The lesson I learned today: I can not give up on seeking God. I don't know how many devotionals this kind man gave out, or how much time he spent praying over me. All I know is, he did not see immediate results in me - and he did it anyway. I scarcely remember him, except that he was an older, kind gentleman.  

My prayer this morning is one of thanksgiving for this man, and for his faith. My prayer is also for you, kind reader, that you may be encouraged to change this one thing in your life as well. Give to God your first minutes of every day and seek Him throughout the day. He has blessed us with so much.

Blessings,

Tammy

My past does not determine my future. Easier said than believed!

In the very recent past, I had a rough day. That is an understatement, for sure. I even had a public meltdown. Yes, I sure did.
I have spent my life trying to please others. While I am being completely honest, I admit I haven't done a very good job of that either.  I am constantly making excuses for myself. It is exhausting. I am tired of being tired. And right here, I catch myself trying to make excuses again.

On that particular day, in the not so distant past, I had the lovely chore of looking over my work history to create an updated resume. Seeing all of the job hopping, career changes, and mistakes of my life caused a downward emotional spiral that I was unable to control. To top it off, while looking into my past for dates, I was faced with my multiple last name changes. Yes, I have been divorced four times.

Before I knew it, I was in the middle of an important meeting having the aforementioned meltdown. Right smack in front of important people. People who I like and respect, both personally and professionally. People who have a say in my career future.

I was, and still am, embarrassed beyond words. I have had enough of this. I am ready to truly make changes.
 
But, how do I change? How do I accept my past as just that, the past - and move forward to create the bright future I know I can have?

I know, from past experience, how not to change. Despite knowing this, I gave my old ways one more shot today. Wallowing in self pity does not result in change. Crying does not help either. Nor does eating a plate full of sweets. All of these things result in burning red eyes, a blotchy face and an upset stomach. Every time. Oh, and a heavy heart as icing on the cake. I decided to top it all off with a handful of Godiva Chocolate Truffles.

Then, I decided to pray. I was not sure what to pray about, but I knew I needed to get down on my knees.

Shortly after praying, I looked online, and my YouVersion "verse of the day" was this:

Isaiah 40:30 (NIV)
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

No coincidence here. A renewal is exactly what I need. I need God's help in my life. I am striving toward getting better God's way. I may be taking longer than necessary - but today is a big turning point in my life.

I am marking this day down as a red letter day for me. This is the day I decided to hand control completely over to God. Trust in Him and see where He leads me. I am not saying that this will be easy - but  it is surely a step in the right direction.

An Unlikely Messenger

Today’s sermon at church ( on John 20) piqued my interest – and, more importantly, convicted me to open my bible this afternoon and learn more. I have attended church for many years, heard sermons and skimmed the gospels in the past, but it never stood out to me how God used Mary Magdalene to spread the word about the resurrection of Jesus. She was actually the first person to hear the Good News – and from Jesus himself! What a blessing! I will get back to this point in a moment.

I will summarize the story as I understand it.  Mary was the last person at the cross after the crucifixion, and the first to arrive at the tomb of Jesus on the day he rose. She went there very early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone was rolled away from the opening.  She was distraught, and ran to tell Peter that the stone was moved and their Lord had been taken away.

The story continues with Mary returning to the tomb. She was weeping because she missed Jesus. Jesus appeared to her and comforted her. She responded by calling out to him and clinging to him. I can imagine her relief in seeing Him there alive! He spoke her name and asked her to relay a very important message to the disciples.  Jesus said to her, “Do not cling to Me, for I have not yet ascended to My Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, I am ascending to My Father and your Father, and to My God and your God.”  (John 20:17 – NKJV)

 

John 20 continues with Jesus appearing to the disciples on two separate occasions while they were behind closed doors. I am reminded again of how Mary Magdalene sought out the presence of Jesus - she did not wait in fear behind closed doors!

The story is significant in itself; as it shows the fulfillment of prophesy.  HE IS RISEN! AMEN!  

The part that convicted me though, is how God consistently uses seemingly unlikely people to do amazing things.  

Point #1: Women, in general, were considered insignificant back then.

Point #2:  Mary Magdalene was once demon possessed.  Jesus cast out seven demons from her (Luke 8:2). It is also rumored that she was a former woman of ill repute. Before studying today, I believed this to be true, but I cannot find clarification of that in the scripture.

Point #3:  God uses her in a very significant way - she is the FIRST one to see and speak to the Risen Lord! She is the one who takes the message of the resurrection to the disciples. 

I pray to have a heart like Mary Magdalene. She loved Jesus with all she had. He released her from the grasp of demons. She walked with Him; watched Him as He was crucified; she went to His tomb in the early morning, in the dark. Am I willing to love Jesus like Mary? Am I willing to open the locked door and go seek Him? Step out in faith and serve the way He would have me serve?

I pray that God can use me, a woman and a repentant sinner, in a significant way!