Quiet time - Prayer and Time Invested in God's Word

This morning I was awake early and started reading in a devotional I received as a gift some time ago. I had never opened this book, even though it was given to me with a lovely note of encouragement written inside the front cover.  The book is from an insurance client I had in Las Vegas that I barely remember.The note is dated 7/3/2002 - twelve years ago!  The pages are so new and untouched that they stuck together. This book has moved with me countless times, yet I never opened it until now. It is called Seasons of Reflection, The NIV Bible in 365 Daily Readings with Special Helps on Prayer copyright 1994 by International Bible Study. This is the book I am talking about

This person went out of his way, many years ago to encourage me - with no way of knowing that his efforts would result in my encouragement on June 8, 2014. 

This verse is conveniently written on the first page:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NIV)

I am beginning a journey today to read the bible each and every morning first thing and write in my journal about how, changing this one thing in my life's list of priorities, is changing me from the inside out. This book stood out to me on my bookshelf, no longer forgotten. How many times have I forgotten to read His Word and spend time alone with God? 

I am a results driven person. I want to see the fruits of my labor right away. I have often given up quickly in important things just because I didn't see a result. That topic alone could be a post all to its own. 

The lesson I learned today: I can not give up on seeking God. I don't know how many devotionals this kind man gave out, or how much time he spent praying over me. All I know is, he did not see immediate results in me - and he did it anyway. I scarcely remember him, except that he was an older, kind gentleman.  

My prayer this morning is one of thanksgiving for this man, and for his faith. My prayer is also for you, kind reader, that you may be encouraged to change this one thing in your life as well. Give to God your first minutes of every day and seek Him throughout the day. He has blessed us with so much.

Blessings,

Tammy

My past does not determine my future. Easier said than believed!

In the very recent past, I had a rough day. That is an understatement, for sure. I even had a public meltdown. Yes, I sure did.
I have spent my life trying to please others. While I am being completely honest, I admit I haven't done a very good job of that either.  I am constantly making excuses for myself. It is exhausting. I am tired of being tired. And right here, I catch myself trying to make excuses again.

On that particular day, in the not so distant past, I had the lovely chore of looking over my work history to create an updated resume. Seeing all of the job hopping, career changes, and mistakes of my life caused a downward emotional spiral that I was unable to control. To top it off, while looking into my past for dates, I was faced with my multiple last name changes. Yes, I have been divorced four times.

Before I knew it, I was in the middle of an important meeting having the aforementioned meltdown. Right smack in front of important people. People who I like and respect, both personally and professionally. People who have a say in my career future.

I was, and still am, embarrassed beyond words. I have had enough of this. I am ready to truly make changes.
 
But, how do I change? How do I accept my past as just that, the past - and move forward to create the bright future I know I can have?

I know, from past experience, how not to change. Despite knowing this, I gave my old ways one more shot today. Wallowing in self pity does not result in change. Crying does not help either. Nor does eating a plate full of sweets. All of these things result in burning red eyes, a blotchy face and an upset stomach. Every time. Oh, and a heavy heart as icing on the cake. I decided to top it all off with a handful of Godiva Chocolate Truffles.

Then, I decided to pray. I was not sure what to pray about, but I knew I needed to get down on my knees.

Shortly after praying, I looked online, and my YouVersion "verse of the day" was this:

Isaiah 40:30 (NIV)
But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

No coincidence here. A renewal is exactly what I need. I need God's help in my life. I am striving toward getting better God's way. I may be taking longer than necessary - but today is a big turning point in my life.

I am marking this day down as a red letter day for me. This is the day I decided to hand control completely over to God. Trust in Him and see where He leads me. I am not saying that this will be easy - but  it is surely a step in the right direction.