At a loss...

I am at a loss for words.  On July 23rd, my father passed away. Tomorrow his remains will be buried with military honors and I will close this chapter of my life. The past few weeks have gone by in a blur.

I fear that the love I have for him and the memories I store in my heart will begin to fade.I am grateful for every moment I had with him, yet wish I had more of those moments. He was in so much pain in the end - I know it is a relief that he passed, but the selfish side of me wishes I could just hold his hand one more time. He was a good man, a wonderful man. My sister and I wrote letters to him that I will have buried at the cemetary. Letters filled with love and beautiful memories of our time with an honorable man.

I also fear that he did not accept Jesus before he passed. We prayed for him so much over the past years, but his mental condition was such that I will always wonder about his salvation.

I am at a loss for words.