Stranger things have happened!

Yesterday I was extremely stressed, and time was not on my side. This week I took on additional responsibilities with a networking group, and the workload of this volunteer position are overwhelming and time consuming. This is partially because I am new to it - still learning and getting systems in place to keep me organized. I am trying hard to fulfill my new role while not letting my work suffer. Or my newly set personal goals.

I was meeting with a client in the morning, and I had a much looked forward to lunch date with a good friend, who I had not seen in over a month.

I knew I would be a few minutes late, and sent her a text. She, of course, was fine with it, and replied that she would get us a table and that I should take my time. I was still beyond stressed out. If you know me personally, you know that I am a stickler for timeliness.

While in my car, I flipped on the radio to my usual station. I heard static, then relaxing music - no vocals, played as I drove across town. Half way through my drive, there was static and Dani Johnson's voice came on, she was in the middle of a talk about stress.  Static again,and back to music. This may seem like a normal occurrence to some, but was not the norm for this station. Perfect timing! God's timing. A blessed reminder.

I arrived at the restaurant to a warm greeting and big hug from my friend, I was only 3 minutes past our regular time and I felt somewhat relaxed! We had a lovely lunch, catching up and just enjoying each other's company. Yes, I did have to leave an hour later to get to the next appointment, but I felt so much better.

I still feel better.

Somehow, in the busyness of life and work, I have put faith into a side compartment. A package to only open on Sunday.  How did this happen?  Can anyone else relate?

Why do I place more weight on work goals than I do personal ones?

Yep, I've set goals, great goals. Goals for diet, exercise, regular writing, and sales at work. And guess what? I've only ever kept up with the sales/work goals.

Why is this? The answer lies in the goal setting process itself.

Work goals - I write them down. I track them. I put all the steps down with dates for completion. I celebrate my mini successes along the way. I get cards in the mail, trophies and awards to line up on my shelf.

Personal goals are a little different for me. I wish and dream. I talk and blog. I have plans to do certain things. I never set the steps in motion. These goals get pushed to the side when work goals need to be achieved. When I get busy, my personal goals go down the commode.

It is time for change.

Its time for a big change. It's time to do more than just blog and talk about my writing goals with friends. IT IS TIME TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE! Yes, I am yelling - yelling at myself.

No more just talking about it, I am going to blog about my successes on my writing blog:
 
tammyarlene.blogspot.com

I will use this current blog - gettingbettergodsway.blogspot.com  for my rants and observations. Would love to stay and chat, but I've got to go - it's time to set personal goals. Really set them. Really reach them, and reward myself along the way. I'm thinking massages and pedicures are pretty good rewards.

Fire and Destruction - Weed, California

My hometown suffered a fire yesterday. Over 100 buildings, many of them homes, burned to the ground. When I graduated high school in 1989 I wanted to get as far away from that small town as I could. I joined the Marine Corps and did exactly that. Since my discharge from active duty, I have moved several times, never looking back. I returned to Weed a couple of times to visit my parents in the 90’s, then, in 2001, I moved them to Las Vegas to live with me. Since then, I have briskly passed through town twice while on road trips, never staying, and certainly never nostalgic.  I didn’t return for my class reunions, even though I went to same school with classmates for 12 years, (13 years - if we count kindergarten.)

Why, now that tragedy has struck, do I want to go back? I want to walk the streets and I want it to be just as I remember.  My old neighborhood, Carrick Addition, seems to have remained untouched. In looking at photos posted online, my heart breaks for so many who have lost so much. I feel drawn to "home," even though, until now, I never thought of it that way. I keep looking at photos and videos of the damage, and feel so helpless.

I no longer have family there, but I do remain loosely connected with a few friends via Facebook. Many of them have lost everything. Please join me in prayer. This is truly a tragedy.

 

I am out of words to say.

 

 

Just One Thing

What if, when life seems overwhelming, we just did one thing nice for someone else? Perhaps even a stranger...

The one thing I am talking about could be something as simple as picking up the piece of trash that someone left in the parking lot. Washing out a co-workers coffee mug, and putting it away for them. Moving a shopping cart from the parking area to the cart corral - or better yet, back to the front of the store. Even one up on that, helping someone who needs assistance to put the groceries into their car, then return the cart for them.

What about sending a "Thank You" card or note to someone who brightened your day? The written word, especially hand-written, goes a long way in touching someone's heart. With all the modern technology - Facebook, LinkedIn, Send out Cards, Email, etc., (all of which I love and use!), a hand written note goes a long way in expressing your gratitude in a very personal way that computer generated print can not. If you don't believe me, send one out. Test my theory and leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you.

These are all really small things that take little time away from a hectic schedule. I find when I do something completely unselfish, I am energized and feel good for hours afterward.

That's what is on my mind today. I must go - just thought of someone I could write a quick note to!

Managing My Time / Or Rather Managing ME Time ?

It seems that my personal life is all about starting over. Is this just happening to me? Can anyone else relate?

I am consistent with my personal inconsistency!  I start a new exercise program, daily bible reading, commit to weekly BLOGGING, and then life happens and it all fades away. I get caught in the whirlwind of life, and before I know it, I am starting over again.

In my career, I set goals and keep or exceed them. Not so on a personal level. Why?

A good friend and I were talking yesterday, and she said something that hit home. "You have to fill yourself up first - take the first 30 minutes of each day, and do something positive just for you." She heard this on a conference call the day before, and we both agreed that it was a good idea in theory. Flight attendants remind us to put our oxygen mask on first, before helping others. Our conversation was over, and I moved on to the next thing I had to do for my day. After all, it is the end of the quarter, and my sales numbers are not as good as they should be this week. 

Never mind that I, in the two weeks prior, exceeded my personal sales goals. But I digress...

  

Taking time for oneself has always sounded like a good idea for everyone else, but for me, it seems selfish. I am constantly concerned with the care of my mom, son and husband as well as success in a full time sales career. Reading and writing are things I desire and do just for me -which is exactly why they get brushed off my schedule as soon as something more important comes up. I have to be clear and mention that I, and no one else, make the choice to eliminate these items from my schedule.  Over time, I feel empty and drained. I once again get motivated to take time for me, and the feelings of being selfish return. I get back on the merry go round of caring for everyone else.

Normally I would have brushed past the conversation with my dear friend, and kept on with my hectic life. Not this time. I feel like I am stopped in my tracks. I am physically and emotionally exhausted. I know this is a wake-up call like never before.  

My "ME" tank is running low. It may even be empty. I am not feeling as energetic as I used to. I struggle with the thought of adding another chore to my list, even if it is for me. Setting aside 30 minutes seems like a lot. A selfish lot. I ask to no one and everyone, "Is it even Godly to take time for myself?"

Enough of my rant. I am a results driven person when it comes to career and family. It is time for me to take charge of my personal results. And, yes, I am once again starting over. Starting over for me.

Please pray for me as I begin to take time for me at the beginning and end of each day. This time will include bible reading, writing, exercise and, yes - blogging. 

I will be blogging about my writing progress at:

tammyarlene.blogspot.com

This will, one day, become my author blog.

Bad Habit Part II: Judging Others

Eek! My internal radar went off, and I am sure my external expression showed it. There was a woman at WalMart, smiling and proudly wearing what appeared to be a 5” headband as a skirt and a short tank top that was obviously made to fit a toddler. I was at the store shopping with my 78 year old mother, and we were both mortified and couldn’t move far or fast enough across the store in our search for escape.  Yep, I even paused in the fresh fruit section to post a comment on Facebook!  I was disgusted.  As if that wasn’t enough, guess who sashayed into line behind me when I wheeled into checkout? You guessed it!  

I caught myself judging this woman, questioning her lack of public decency and modesty. I was thankful that my 17 year old son was not with me. My poor mother was emotionally scarred. The list could go on.

I am embarrassed to admit, I have several stories like this. Times when I have jumped toward the negative and grasped a judgmental attitude like it was my right to do so.

As I was driving home, I was struck by the thought that I should love others. I am not to judge anyone, just love them as they are. Not one of us is perfect. No, not one. I recounted what I saw to my husband. He reminded me that I should love others, not judge them.  I am very sorry for passing judgment on this stranger. I am nowhere near perfect, and although I strive to be a better person, I constantly find areas where I can improve. I have made my share of mistakes, and I never felt the dirty look of God on me. He loves me no matter what I do. No matter what bad habits I have. As I reach out to Him, He guides me toward the path I should go, loving me the whole time.

I am reminded of this story:

John 8:1-11 (NIV)

1but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus,
“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6They were using this question as a trap,in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

 

I am put in my place. I will work on softening my heart. I will work on not judging others, and loving everyone. This will not be easy, but I am convicted.

Bad Habit Part 1: Magnifying the negative

I don't know if I am alone in doing this, but I tend to magnify things that are negative, and overlook the positive in situations.

A recent real life example: My husband took a picture of me up close when a butterfly landed in my hair. I was thrilled that he caught this moment for me. I love butterflies! When I looked at the picture, I saw the wrinkles around my eyes. I even went so far as to enlarge the picture and gawk at how my crows feet had turned into deep cracks in my skin. I closed the image, then re-opened it to ruminate some more. I did this a few times, and spent way too much time lamenting on how horrible I looked. I then decided to delete the horrible picture of my ugly aging self. Thinking back, I never once looked at the butterfly. I didn't look closely at the beauty that was the purpose of the picture. I was so focused on not just myself, but my negative self image, that I missed the beauty of the moment. Now the picture is gone. In those few moments, holding my husband's cell phone, I even drudged up a memory of the cosmetic counter lady telling me how huge my pores were. Another memory surfaced when a dermatologist tried sell me botox and fillers. "You have the number 11 embedded between your brows," she hawked. When I magnified the picture further, looking for the negative, I found she was right! Shocking! EEEK! Run-don't walk-quickly, get needles full of drugs stuck in this face immediately, I thought. All of this negativity over a picture of a butterfly. What did that butterfly look like? I don't know.

My husband was confused, and didn't understand why I was so troubled over the photo. He was proud to present the picture to me. He sees me as beautiful, and does not focus on the wrinkles. God is the same way. He sees what is inside of us, not the outside. And, to top it off, when I focus on the negative - the inside of me isn't looking too good either.

How many positive opportunities have I missed, because of focusing on the negative? Countless, I am sure.

I am reminded in Proverbs 31:30 (NKJV)
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

What I am not saying here, is that it is wrong to want to look nice on the outside. What I have come to realize is, that I need to accept the things I can't change about my appearance (unless I am willing to get injections, that is.) I do want to look nice for my husband, for work, and for me. More importantly, I need to focus on my inward self more than I do my outward appearance. I am a woman that has aged 43 years.
New thought:  God, my husband, family and friends see me as a beautiful creation of God! That is the truth, and God loves me.

 My prayer today is that, now aware of this bad habit, I work on getting better God's way. Please message me privately or comment publicly if you would like to add something-or have been in a similar situation and can relate to working on turning this negative habit around.