Moved again and today I played in the snow

I moved to a place of snow and trees, pretty heavenly, if you ask me - considering I've spent the last 20 years in the dry desert!

I played and laughed today, that's something I have not done much of  as an adult. I highly recommend it!

Today it was snowing pretty hard, and I was not able to get out of the house. I was able to work from home a little, then decided to write this afternoon. Yes, I wrote!! I took a break from the screen to get the mail and ended up playing in the snow (even shoveling the driveway was fun) - when I returned to my writing, the words seemed to flow even more.

I mustered up enough bravery to send what I wrote today to a dear friend. That's a first! She liked it! That's encouraging.

I truly am "Getting Better God's Way!"

Onward and upward I keep my eyes on Him!
I'll keep praying and playing (and writing.)

Blessings,
Tammy

Why do I place more weight on work goals than I do personal ones?

Yep, I've set goals, great goals. Goals for diet, exercise, regular writing, and sales at work. And guess what? I've only ever kept up with the sales/work goals.

Why is this? The answer lies in the goal setting process itself.

Work goals - I write them down. I track them. I put all the steps down with dates for completion. I celebrate my mini successes along the way. I get cards in the mail, trophies and awards to line up on my shelf.

Personal goals are a little different for me. I wish and dream. I talk and blog. I have plans to do certain things. I never set the steps in motion. These goals get pushed to the side when work goals need to be achieved. When I get busy, my personal goals go down the commode.

It is time for change.

Its time for a big change. It's time to do more than just blog and talk about my writing goals with friends. IT IS TIME TO GET OUT OF MY COMFORT ZONE! Yes, I am yelling - yelling at myself.

No more just talking about it, I am going to blog about my successes on my writing blog:
 
tammyarlene.blogspot.com

I will use this current blog - gettingbettergodsway.blogspot.com  for my rants and observations. Would love to stay and chat, but I've got to go - it's time to set personal goals. Really set them. Really reach them, and reward myself along the way. I'm thinking massages and pedicures are pretty good rewards.

A little nostalgic

I decided to watch Pretty In Pink on Netflix over the weekend.  That was one of my favorite movies in the late 80's and I was excited to revisit it with my husband. 

My feeling of excitement was short lived.  Although the movie was just as I remembered - the emotions that I felt watching it were not pleasant.  You see, I was "that" girl.  The ugly duckling child wearing second hand clothes who never quite fit in. I smelled bad because my parents smoked in the house and car.  Obviously, my family was not wealthy.  My sarcastic grown up self looks on the bright side - I didn't have to worry about making an ill fitting prom dress out of two different ghastly pink gowns - because I was not invited to the prom.  I wasn't invited to much of anything. 

I had friends who faded away from me as the school years went by.  I just wasn't pretty or cool enough, I suppose.  Many evenings after working at a local restaurant, I cried, trying to figure out what was wrong with me.  I wondered what I could do differently so that people would like me.  Prom night was especially depressing.  I did find ways to cope with my insecurity.  I found attention where I shouldn't have. I could go into so much more detail here, but will save that for my prayer time and personal journal.

It has been over 20 years since I left my hometown, and openly thought about my high school years. I even avoided my class reunions. Much personal effort has been spent trying to block the memories of the cruel comments either whispered or hurled in my direction, and the personal feelings of inadequacy while growing up.  There are so many ugly things, aside from the feeling of not fitting in with the other students.  I joined the military and left my hometown over 20 years ago.  I never looked back.

After watching the movie, I opened up the dusty window to my past.  I peeked in and realized that there is still a little pain there. Insecurity that rears its ugly head even today.  I have decided to air out those memories and see them for what they are, just memories. Memories that I been carrying around like ugly heavy trash bags for no good reason. No wonder my back hurts some days!  I am going to open those ugly memories up, write about them and let them go.  :-)

Bottom line - after leaving high school and my home town, I made a great life for myself.  I have had one adventure after another.  Some positive, some not so positive. I am a business owner and I have traveled and enjoyed the better things in life. I know what it means to work hard and play hard.  I have been places and experienced things that some would only dream of.  I am in control of my life - and I am deciding to not just lock these memories away, but rather, to open them up and air them out.  I am not alone in my past experiences. I am, in fact, a survivor.

I am not pointing fingers at people who may not even realize they hurt me, I am merely explaining how I feel.  Had I expressed my true feelings during my younger years, I can't even begin to imagine how different my life would be today.  Plus, I look at it this way - what good true life material I have for future writing projects! 

God is good to me - all the time.  I am ok.  You are ok.  We are all ok together - regardless of our past.  Regardless of what others may say or do - past, present or future - we are in control of our own destinies!