Healing Continues (My recovery - and lack of patience!)

I know I stopped writing about my illness and healing. I did this out of frustration. But it is now time to finish the hospital portion of the story and how the grace of God was with me during this trial.

After multiple tests over a two week period, it was discovered that I had a large mass and aneurysm on my portal vein, which was covered by thrombus (blood clot.)  Tests also showed that I have a genetic blood disorder called Factor V Leiden, which causes blood clotting. I was placed on blood thinning medication amongst other things. I had a hard time sitting around my room, so I was allowed to roam the hospital with my handy IV pole - which I decorated.  

Two attempts were made to biopsy the mass, but both rendered nothing. My portal vein was blocked. A large team of doctors were caring for me, and it was decided that I would undergo a Whipple surgery on January 13th. It would begin as exploratory, and advance as necessary. 

I was told by my surgeon that the mass was most likely a sarcoma. The C word scared me, but I kept my faith, even when he told me that it was 99% sure this was the case. There was no other reason for the mass and blood clot. If it was cancer, then I would begin Chemotherapy and go from there. The surgery would most likely damage my pancreas, and I would need to inject insulin for the rest of my life. I began researching the surgery on the internet, and knew that the long term prognosis (5 years) was not good.  

This is where my Savior Jesus comes in. I felt stronger in my faith than ever before. I began reading online devotionals, the chaplain brought me a copy of the New Testament since I did not have my bible with me. I had many loving people praying for me. Most of my nurses were christian as well, and they would visit with me, even coming in on their off days or before/after shifts to see me. Work friends stopped by. I felt strong and ready to face anything.

January 13th finally came. I woke up that morning feeling strong and unafraid. I knew that whatever happened that day, in that operating room, I would not be alone. Either I would survive or I would go into the arms of my Savior. My only sadness was that I would miss everyone here.

I spoke to the doctors prior to surgery and signed all of the necessary paperwork to proceed. I smiled and told my surgeon that I was not ruling out a miracle - and I know he thought I was nuts. I went into surgery, then - after what seemed like 5 minutes to me (7 1/2 hours to everyone else), I woke up looking into my husband's weary and worried eyes. I was being taken into ICU and his first words were, "You made it! You don't have cancer. Your pancreas is fine! You probably won't need insulin!"

I was confused at first, but realized that I did indeed make it through. God had more planned for me here. I am still not sure what these plans are, but I know they will be revealed when I am ready.

I began recovering from surgery - which included multiple procedures. ICU is not a fun place to be. I was moved to the transplant unit for care after 1.5 days. I had several scary moments, complications, transfusions, etc over the next couple weeks. I also battled depression for a few days but my faith and friends helped me stay strong. I will spare you the details on this. 

I was released from the hospital on the evening of January 30th. My 35 day stay was over, I was weak and afraid to be away from the 24 hour care.

This is when the true recovery began.

More to come....

Hospitality

While at church a couple weeks ago, my family was invited to have lunch at the home of an acquaintance. We had visited with this beautiful woman a few times at church, and she opened her home today and welcomed us, as well as another couple, to a scrumptious lunch. I could tell she had taken a great deal of effort with her preparations.  Her home is in a beautiful mountain setting and she happily gave us a tour of not only her house, relaxing wrap around porch and garden, and perhaps, most notably, she offered a glimpse into the caring person she is. The fellowship was amazing, the atmosphere calming to the spirit.  She stepped out of her comfort zone to invite us over, and showed us a genuine example of hospitality. We were blessed to be there, and I feel blessed now thinking about the experience.

Have you ever felt the urge to step outside of that zone, and invite someone to lunch? To do something kind for an acquaintance or stranger with no expectation of reward? When we neglect these urges, I believe we miss out on blessings. These blessings are gifts that will fuel us to continue on this quest of kindness and generosity. Ignore the desire to do kind and generous things, and eventually the desire may go away. I don’t want to miss out on blessings! I know this seems repetitive, since my last blog was similar, however, I feel I needed to write about this again for my own development. I need to be continually reminded, until it becomes a habit.

Let’s bless someone at the next urging!  I welcome comments if you want to share how acts of kindness have changed you in some way.

Matthew 6:19-20 (NIV)

Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

1 Peter 4:8-10 (NIV)

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God’s grace in its various forms.