Bad Habit Part II: Judging Others

Eek! My internal radar went off, and I am sure my external expression showed it. There was a woman at WalMart, smiling and proudly wearing what appeared to be a 5” headband as a skirt and a short tank top that was obviously made to fit a toddler. I was at the store shopping with my 78 year old mother, and we were both mortified and couldn’t move far or fast enough across the store in our search for escape.  Yep, I even paused in the fresh fruit section to post a comment on Facebook!  I was disgusted.  As if that wasn’t enough, guess who sashayed into line behind me when I wheeled into checkout? You guessed it!  

I caught myself judging this woman, questioning her lack of public decency and modesty. I was thankful that my 17 year old son was not with me. My poor mother was emotionally scarred. The list could go on.

I am embarrassed to admit, I have several stories like this. Times when I have jumped toward the negative and grasped a judgmental attitude like it was my right to do so.

As I was driving home, I was struck by the thought that I should love others. I am not to judge anyone, just love them as they are. Not one of us is perfect. No, not one. I recounted what I saw to my husband. He reminded me that I should love others, not judge them.  I am very sorry for passing judgment on this stranger. I am nowhere near perfect, and although I strive to be a better person, I constantly find areas where I can improve. I have made my share of mistakes, and I never felt the dirty look of God on me. He loves me no matter what I do. No matter what bad habits I have. As I reach out to Him, He guides me toward the path I should go, loving me the whole time.

I am reminded of this story:

John 8:1-11 (NIV)

1but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4and said to Jesus,
“Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6They were using this question as a trap,in order to have a basis for accusing him.
But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

 

I am put in my place. I will work on softening my heart. I will work on not judging others, and loving everyone. This will not be easy, but I am convicted.

Bad Habit Part 1: Magnifying the negative

I don't know if I am alone in doing this, but I tend to magnify things that are negative, and overlook the positive in situations.

A recent real life example: My husband took a picture of me up close when a butterfly landed in my hair. I was thrilled that he caught this moment for me. I love butterflies! When I looked at the picture, I saw the wrinkles around my eyes. I even went so far as to enlarge the picture and gawk at how my crows feet had turned into deep cracks in my skin. I closed the image, then re-opened it to ruminate some more. I did this a few times, and spent way too much time lamenting on how horrible I looked. I then decided to delete the horrible picture of my ugly aging self. Thinking back, I never once looked at the butterfly. I didn't look closely at the beauty that was the purpose of the picture. I was so focused on not just myself, but my negative self image, that I missed the beauty of the moment. Now the picture is gone. In those few moments, holding my husband's cell phone, I even drudged up a memory of the cosmetic counter lady telling me how huge my pores were. Another memory surfaced when a dermatologist tried sell me botox and fillers. "You have the number 11 embedded between your brows," she hawked. When I magnified the picture further, looking for the negative, I found she was right! Shocking! EEEK! Run-don't walk-quickly, get needles full of drugs stuck in this face immediately, I thought. All of this negativity over a picture of a butterfly. What did that butterfly look like? I don't know.

My husband was confused, and didn't understand why I was so troubled over the photo. He was proud to present the picture to me. He sees me as beautiful, and does not focus on the wrinkles. God is the same way. He sees what is inside of us, not the outside. And, to top it off, when I focus on the negative - the inside of me isn't looking too good either.

How many positive opportunities have I missed, because of focusing on the negative? Countless, I am sure.

I am reminded in Proverbs 31:30 (NKJV)
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

What I am not saying here, is that it is wrong to want to look nice on the outside. What I have come to realize is, that I need to accept the things I can't change about my appearance (unless I am willing to get injections, that is.) I do want to look nice for my husband, for work, and for me. More importantly, I need to focus on my inward self more than I do my outward appearance. I am a woman that has aged 43 years.
New thought:  God, my husband, family and friends see me as a beautiful creation of God! That is the truth, and God loves me.

 My prayer today is that, now aware of this bad habit, I work on getting better God's way. Please message me privately or comment publicly if you would like to add something-or have been in a similar situation and can relate to working on turning this negative habit around.